joy. i really dislike e maths now. ohoh. there's a band sleep over tonight but i'm not going. SAD! pretty disappointed la. man. my parents suck. cant believe it la. cant believe they are so protective of me. gosh! i took so long to persuade my mum. and in the end, she gave me that stupid tone, that made me not want to go anymore. cant stand it man! anw. forget about it. i forgive them. gosh. i forgive like almost everyone. ;D ok la. i guess i'm a pleasant friend. ok. maybe not. anw. i felt the band has improved quite a bit yesterday. especially tunning wise. maybe it was my section. mrs chua said that we had only one sound! :D i feel so glad and movtivated after she said that! :D JOY! :D :D :D


ok. life really sucks now. it's like i'm trying really hard to stay alive. sometimes, i wonder why i'm alive. to fulfill your purposes, lord? this is bad. i got so many datelines to meet and i really cant get my piorities right. how can i be doing 3.2 in advance when i am not even done with chinese. i really should finish up my chinese before doing anything else. i havent been liking chinese ever since like p3, now i think i like chinese. because of the interesting lessons that she conducts. i feel that every lesson should be as interesting as hers. not like other lessons. sometimes i just wanna fall asleep. and the weather too. wow. so cool. wonder which class has 2.4 today. they'll have an easier time. gosh. wish i had this weather. nowadays, it's usually, one day hot and one day rainy. and this repeats over and over. i wish, i wish everyday would be a special day, where there's no school, no CCA, no family problems, just me and the TV / COMPURTER. gosh. i think i'm dreaming, it's like a white christmas in singapore. except for snow city la. which is FAKE! so fake. i really need a holiday. a REAL HOLIDAY. without any problems. i guess i'm just dreaming the impossible. after syf will be midyears la.

anw. syf is in 2 weeks time. and now i dont even feel like play my saxophone. it's like i dont think any more practices will help. but i gotta believe in myself i guess? i believe in the band too. i ought to have faith in everything i do, and not give out so easily. i really hope everyone will work hard towards our goal, syf. which is in like less than 2 weeks time. oh. yesterday i saw this boy on the 243 bus, he was holding the sunrise and safari score. but it wasnt like really coloured. it was pretty raw. like no notes on it at all. then, i realised how far the band has come, and how really really close it is to syf. it's really time to give it our best. i hope mr chua auditions us today. i wont feel disappointed that if i dont get to play in syf, but i will feel disappointed if without these people, the band doesnt do so well. am i talking sense? anw. i can see the effort put in by the many people. i guess i should be really really serious. and not play a fool during sectionals any more. i promise.

being serious isnt that easy. forgive me if i stray from my promise. and also remind me as well.
all the best to all bands for SYF. ;D


recap

yesterday, we had band exchange programme at tkss. anw, rachael owes me a justea now! ;D she was really sure that we were going to tkgss, instead of tkss. and guess what, i won ;D anyway. it was really an enriching experience. wow. rgs's sunrise was really good la. ours is like really nothing compared to their. why is this so? i ask myself. i guess it's about discipline? even tk sounded better than us. i really hope we wont get a silver. this all comes down to the 2 MORE WEEKS of practice we have left. if a miricle happens, and everybody starts to buck up and everything, perhaps we'll be able to achieve a gold. i pray we'll be able to do so. this reminds me of a song.

the prayer
celine dion

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe la luce che tu hai
I pray we'll find your lightNel cuore rest
And hold it in our hearts.
A ricordarci che
When stars go out each night,
Eterna stella sei
The light you haveI pray we'll find your light
Will be in the heartAnd hold it in our hearts.
To remember us that
When stars go out each night,
You are eternal star nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede
When shadows fill our day
How much faith there's
Let this be our prayer
In my prayer
When shadows fill our day lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe sognamo un mondo senza pi? violenza
Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicinoSimbolo di pace, di fratern
We dream a world without violence
A world of justice and faith.
Everyone gives the hand to his neighbours
Symbol of peace, of fraternity la forza che ci
We ask that life be kind? il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amor
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro
Another soul to love
The force his gives us
We ask that life be kind
Is wish thatAnd watch us from above
Everyone finds love
We hope each soul will find
Around and insideAnother soul to love let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer, just like every child need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe
Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe ? la fede cheHai acceso in noi,
Sento che ci salvIt's the faith
You light in us
I feel it will save us\

very nice song eh! ;D ohoh. i was really very friendly yesterday. i said hi to almost everyone. ok maybe not. but i said hi to alot of people. so proud of myself. couldnt really bring myself to like give comments on the other playings. it's like i play so horribily, and thus i cant bring myself to critise. so i guess yesterday's exchange wasnt really productive except for the fact that i was INSPIRED by the other bands. :D

today had church in the morning. we did the memory versus again. i still cant remember them. i really cant remember them. crap this is bad. i gotta catch up, 3 months of memory versus. jiayou michellina, you can do it. oh ya after that, i went for lunch with family. i think i saw diane and yingtong there. but i'm not really sure so didnt say hi. after that i went to spotlight to get fabric paints. really expensive la. but my mum paid. shall i pay her back and go broke? crap. i guess not. i promise to use the paints sparingly. ohoh after that, had FOUR hours of tuition. i'm dead tired now. i kept going to the toliet with michelle, couldnt stay awake. SLEEPY. but i guess i've benefited alot from tuition. havent really been paying attention during a maths. i guess the atmosphere during a maths just isnt right. it's almost always at the end of the day. this makes me really tired then. but i kinda love a maths. i guess i'll try to pay attention? haha. it'll never work out. just like my 7 items. crap. this sucks. but guess what? i've finished all my homework. except for copying out my history essay cos the printer isnt working, ohoh, and the english file. cant stand it la. i'm just so behind time.

when i grow up, i wanna migrate to somewhere PEACEFUL, with no worries to think about. like some country side, or even in the forest, up in a treehouse, or at the farm. i really envy people leading this kind of life. worry-free. i guess it's living in a fast going society that really makes me appreciate the simple life people live, or rather, used to live. why cant we be like before?


i think the world hates me. crap this is badd. i ought to be a better person. HELP! is it just me? or does the world really hate me. i feel really bad la. i forgot about **********, cant believe it man. i'm feeling stressed and everything. term 2 has started. MICHELLINA, wake up! i really really have to catch up with everything. just doing work at tuition isnt going to help if i keep handing in homework late, and sometimes even copying. this sucks man. ok from this day on.
i'll do my best to..
1. not copy any homework
2. hand in homework on time, maximum one day's grace
3. charge tablet everyday
4. not do overdued homework during english or any other subjects.
5. hand in all forms on time
6. not hand in sloppy work
7. draw all diagrams in everything i do, not take the easy way out.

okok. enough for now. ill try to fufill all of this. make myself a better person. forgive me for all the stuff i did earlier will you?


school was alright la. had chem and physics practical! very funny eh! ;D i think chem was fun, we had to test the cations and, i tested it with aqueous sodium hydroxide, and dawn tested it with aqueous ammonia. mine turned many different colours, got green, blue, yellow, red, and a white precipitate. lol. then mrs leow came and said that, she was amazed by the speed of which we completed our experiments. end up, we actually we had to do both, individually. dawn and i gave up!

oh band was horrible. i kept playing wrong notes and my head was spinning all the way la. it's still spinning now. but not as bad as just now la. i guess i should sleep early. i sleep after this ;D anyway. i used a new reed today. kinda regreting it now. my tone sucks now la. airy and reedy! gross! and the reed is like SUPER HARD. 3 and a half. i should use 3 or thinner la. crap. but got high notes. forget it, i'll stick with it. i better season another new reed, in case i regret using this dumb reed for syf, and it ruins it. ohoh. and i confessed today. i dropped my ligature, reed, mouthpiece and a stand. cant believe it. it took alot of my guts. ok fine, maybe not. i guess it's just me. i gotta run 8 rounds now. maybe i'll keep it till next week. i'm NOT going to perspire on saturday, or i'll stink! exchange at tkgs on sat. have to reach school by 7.15. my usual time la. wth. i wanna go earlier, to practice/warm up.

syf's getting closer. it's on the 10th of april. 7 more practices. it's getting really serious. i can remember, last time, eunice, yifang, sheryan and liwei were practicing really hard for it. and i can really see them looking really determined. i really hope to clinch a gold with honours for syf. not just for the glory and honor, but also for the feeling of acomplishment, after MONTHS of practicing. woah. when did we start practicing the piece man? i think it was in the pat, during the dec holidays. i remembered i was complaining about how tough the running notes were, and how black the piece looked. woah. it's has been a long way. and now we're finally here. at the last stretch. we really gotta buck up. put in all that we have now. it's like a marathorn. now's the last 1km. although it's really farfarfar away. we really got to put in our best efford in order to achieve what we set out to do. and also what we have been practicing to do. and do our best when the time comes. i guess it just boils down to how we practice and how we do in this last and final journey before the syf, in 20 days time. jiayou!

20 days to syf, 7 practices.
NAFA's next week. no more carbonated drinks for me.


thankyou eunice for helping me bring down the bench from the hall ;D love ya!

wow. i have a change of heart now. i dont feel frustrated anymore. we're playing faster! 144. ok maybe 132. :D totally my kinda thing. although i know i should be too happy, cos like it's like the notes wont be so clear as before, but it'll sound more EXCITING, in fact, much more exciting. i guess it's the interpretation of the piece. :D joy. joy. joy. i still cant believe it, we're going to increase the speed by ALOT. thankgod i rushed earlier on. or else i will be struggling like crap now la. it's good now. ohohoh. thanks to doctor hardy mertens also. ;D he made everything slow, and faster, to show the difference. woah and for the set piece, he asked us to imaging a cosy breakfast with friends when we played it. haha. never thought of that. but i though his interpretation of the stars in the sky slowing disappearing was really good. like that one. maybe i think of the sunseting in a more vivid way. ;D joyjoyjoy.

crap i think i'm high! ;D


i suck man. playing wise. man man. i should really really buck up. i've been practicing the same parts for so long. I'M FRUSTRATED with myself. sucked man. fortunately i switched to vandoren today. made my life better. :D but i still suck. i hope a miricle happens, and suddenly i can play all the running notes PERFECTLY, without rushing or slowing down, or missing anything, or even playing extra. man. GOD HELP ME!


i suck man. playing wise. man man. i should really really buck up. i've been practicing the same parts for so long. I'M FRUSTRATED with myself. sucked man. fortunately i switched to vandoren today. made my life better. :D but i still suck. i hope a miricle happens, and suddenly i can play all the running notes PERFECTLY, without rushing or slowing down, or missing anything, or even playing extra. man. GOD HELP ME!

oh. i forgot to talk about something in the last post. will touch on it here. anyway. it's like, being in 1st alto now is simply pressurising. i miss being in second. where the parts are so not that important at all. then if anyone was not intune or anything, can just not play that note or something and yifang and sheryan will cover up. now i really wish azura is still in cgssb. then she can be the one doing all the solos and everything that's pressuring. and me, being the junior of that part can take it easier. rather than i do everything else. i miss the old times! where sheryan and yifang would cover up for us. and any parts that we dont know how to play, they will help us. show us how it sounds like, or maybe even sing it out to us. the old times.. gosh i feel so nostalgic. i guess if i never take over them, i'll still be inexperienced, and not that matured. and perhaps this will help the band to progress.

anyway, i figured out why i prefer studying in school rather than at home. in school, if i have any questions that i dont know how to go about doing, there's someone i can ask. however, at home. there's like no one i can go to help for. i realy wish i have an older silbling. my dad is always playing the computer, mother, helping the boys or watching her dramas. wow. it's always the same routine. i guess it's just me. i should just adapt to it. fortunately for me, i have friends in school ;D thanks you to you out there!

oh yesterday, went out with my family. we went for the ducktours. it's this 1hour tour in a vechicle that can travel on land and on sea. not exactly cool but still cool la. cool would be a vechicle that can do all three. travel on sea, in sea, on land, and in the sky. :D sounds really impossible! hahaha. anyway. the tour guide was really young, 21. he lives in jurong too la. coincedence!

today, went for band in the morning. shall not talk into details. slept in the afternoon. and went for dinner at the nearby market. the food's pretty good. and pretty expensive too. cos it was seafood la. i should really help my parents to spend less on food la. like just one meal can cost them 100+. then if we do this like thrice every week, then we'll spend 300 bucks, not including the other meals. cant believe it man. think of the people in africa. they can even skip meals sometimes. CRAP. i'll really try my best to not waste food. :D

today's band prac was LONG and horrible. at first it was alright la. until we had to play like so much more SLOWER. it sucked man! oh sheryan came today. i regret asking her to come back [no offence] but i can really feel the intensity of band practices now. wow. i realised i really suck. that's like totally depressing. i really got to work on SLOWING down the pace it's killing me man. band practices have becomed really long and tiring. i really miss the times. [in sec1and2]
back then, i used to say, 'i love band!'. now, if i say that i know i'm only be sarcastic, crap. this is bad. then i ask myself, why has everything changed so drastically? i guess it's really because of the pressure i put on myself, telling myself to do better, play better, act better, look better. this really gets on my nerves sometimes. i really wonder why. is it because there are so many happenings around me? family, school, band? man! i should really learn how to pioritise my things. i really really ought to work harder. it's so close to syf. i guess everyone's feeling the pressure. i can feel it, all this hardwork deserves a gold, in actual fact, a gold with honors. but thinking back, all the bands are also working hard. so do we all deserve a gold? i guess not. it's the final action that's really counts. the 20 mins of sitting down and playing for the panel of judges. all these months of tough work for the 20mins. wow. i guess i better put in more efford before i really start to regret after the syf. i still remember last year. everyone was like !!! la. it's like i could even sense the IMPORTANCE of that 20 mins. even a minor change would affect everything. and everyone started crying when they received the results, a gold. we should really hard and really cherish the moment instead of regreting it when the times comes. :D

25 more days to first day of syf
how freaky is that!

haha. we did many crazy things! ;D

HAHAHA ;D

HAHA. check out xiangyi's blog for more CENSORED photos! ;D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEECHEN! ;D

a really long day!

it's like time doesnt want to pass! it's stuck at 1pm! i'm really bored. i need to do something. actually i have loads of things to do. it's just that i'm like super lazy! i should really pull up my socks and strive to be more hardworking! i need to learn to be like what i was before. as in before the common test. and during the common test period. now everything has slackened! i'm feeling so relaxed and everything. i wonder is it because of the holidays? i get to sleep really late, and wake up super late! maybe that's why. i hope so! ;D

my holiday schedule
mon
slack and maybe homework
tues
band in the afternoon, homework in the morning
wed
a maths and geog project at 3.30, homework in the morning
thurs
band! full day
fri
outing!
sat
band in the morning, finish up homework!
sun
church in the morning. tuition in the afternoon. slack at night.

reallly hope i get things done! ;D


changed skin yesterday. reallly like this skin. i took like almost the whole afternoon. but it's really nice la! talking to so many people online. really miss everyone! really wish i can turn back time. make it like 1 year back. over and over again! i guess that isnt really possible. but i guess i can turn back time in my dreams! dreaming of the old times. joy!

band on tuesday, thursday and saturday. supposedly enrichment on monday to wednesday. so i guess i have monday, wednesday and friday free ;D unless i decided to be some good girl and go to school tomorrow. but that's like 1% probability!

today had church. many people didnt turn out. chris wore contacts. made her look really werid la. i guess i'm not used to it. went for lunch at plaza sing with cousins. went yamaha after that. i wanted to get reed guards to protect my DEAR reeds. so they wont break so often. but i'm taking REALLY good care of them now. ;D they are under good hands! after that i had tuition. i had to limp all the way to dobby ghaut mrt station to take the mrt ONE STATION to somerset. my knee hurt like crazy just now man. oh, i met mavis on the way. she had no money to go home, she lost her wallet. hope you find it soon ;D michelle was going all nuts today! clarence too haha! ;D we talked about all the random stuff and american pie! clarence is really sick! ;D the naked mile. ewww! gross. it's like m21 la! and he watched the trailer! HAHAHAHA.

my comfortable bed is waiting for me!
better go! ;D


wow. another week has passed. and now's it's the school holidays. i've been like seriously slacking at home la. watching tv, using the com.. i really ought to pick up the school work again. i guess i might not even do my homework this holiday. or MAYBE i will. i guess not though. let me surprise myself! :D

band audititions by next week.
i guess many have told me that i'll be able to get in. but i better not take my chances and practice more. i really ought to. syf's so near. i can practically hear da pacem like almost anywhere. i guess it's just my VIVID AND COLOURFUL imagination. i guess, shu2 neng2 sheng1 qiao3! in other words, practice makes perfect!

5 important things to do!
1. work on dynamics
2. work on evening out running notes
3. work on tuning!
4. homework :D
5. sleep!


i miss 2S206, nowadays, when i go home after school, it'll usually be alone. sad. really miss the times i can go home with so many i know, celestine, steph, felicia, rachel and many more. really miss you guys loads. i really am appreciating it now. i use to take it forgranted. now i know. i'm really sorry. i guess it's just too late.


oh oh. and i got A2 for amaths. surprisingly. and B3 for geog. not bad la. but i'm not satisfied. i guess i'll fail chem, physics and ss. so i really gotta work harder next term, inspite of everything else.


today's saturaday. tomorrow's sunday. and the following day is the start to a new week again. fortunately, it's the last week till the holidays. but what's the difference, we still have to go back to school during the holidays. joy. anyway. i really hope everyone can pass auditions next week.

all the best for auditions. and practice hard everyone! :D


band was pretty much alright yesterday. i thought i was playing really horribily yesterday, but sandra, mavis and liwei didnt think so. i guess i'm putting to much pressure on myself. am i? i hope not. i really dont want the excess pressure to stress me out. but i really feel that i was playing horribily. really glad that mrs chua complimented our section the first time. but we werent very good the following time. i guess it's complacency? i really hope we get gold with honours. not just for the title and glory but also for the sense of accomplishment. oh. i brought home my instrument yesterday. i will promise to practice at least practice twice during the weekend. :D

gotta go :D


life has been really stressful ever since. but i guess it's so much better ever since the common test ended it has been less stressful but band is really 'killing' me la. my lip hurts like crazy after every band prac. it not just the instant pain when biting. it's the after effect. the swollen lips when drinking soup or eating a simple meal. it's driving me nuts la. i'll try to bear with the pain today la. i hope we dont do long long tuning sessions again. although it's useful. i need my personal practice and also sections. and i need to tune with sandra since we're playing the same part now. :D mavis, you'll always have you in my heart during sectionals and combines. of course i'll also have band stuff in my mind la. really hope i show improvements in my playing.

school hasnt changed la. teachers are still teaching. the common test was alright la. except for physics and chem. i rushed through both papers. i really hope i do well although i know i wont. :(

i'm not going for tuition on sunday. rest a week! :D

my sleeping playlist!
Brahms Lullaby - kenny G
Change My Heart O God - Heart of worship
Come What May - Nicole Kidman Ewan Mcgregor
Good Day - Jewel
Greater Love - Steve Green
Hands - Jewel
Hungry - Kathryn Scott
Postcard from Singapore mvt2 Dt-Tanjung Katong - Deutsche Blaserphilharmonie
Safe in a Crazy World - Corrinne May
The Eye Of The Lord - Steve Green
The Prayer - Celine Dion
We Love Him - Steve Green
My Love - Westlife
What Dreams Are Made Off [ballad Version] - Hillary Duff
Who am I - Casting crowns